


Demon Wolves Need Perfect Conditions For Dramatic Entrances

by Wolves_of_Innistrad



Series: Tumblr Teen Wolf ficlets [9]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Crack, Ethan is secretly an SJW, Ficlet, Kali takes none of douchcalion's crap, closeted bi-curious Aiden is my headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 01:44:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1369339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolves_of_Innistrad/pseuds/Wolves_of_Innistrad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alpha Pack bickering about how to make their entrance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Demon Wolves Need Perfect Conditions For Dramatic Entrances

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on this [post](http://captainmjolnir.tumblr.com/post/54158492622/the-real-reason-it-took-the-alpha-pack-took-3)

"Kali!" Deucalion shouted, striding across the apartment towards her door.

"What?!" she yelled back, irritation evident in her tone.

"It's 5 o'clock."

"So?"

"So?  So it means its time to check the weather Kali.  We need a-"

"-Yes a perfect storm, to coincide with our perfect storm as the Alpha Pack.  I know I know.  We all know.  Please, shut up."

"How dare you speak to m-"

Kali just give him a look as she opens her door, hair bedraggled and camisole disheveled.  Her gaze lingers until Deucalion stiffens, cane tapping impatiently.

"I know you are scowling at me.  Just check the weather already."

"It's clear skies again.  Seriously, we're in California what do you expect?"

"I expect the weather to bow to my commands I aM THE DEMON WOLF! I WILL NOT BE DENIed!  I will conqu-" his voice fades as he walks off.  Kali goes back to filing her claws into sharper points.

* * *

 

"Boys!  Get in here!" Deucalion calls, beckoning his youngest packmates to him.

"Yes Deucalion?" they chorus, tones far too unruly and listless for his liking.  He has plans though, so he simply soldiers on. 

"I need the both of you to perform a weather dance.  It's listed by many tribes as beneficial in causing condensation."

"You want us to perform a rain dance?" Ethan scoffs, receiving a swift elbow to the ribs from his brother.

"Is there a problem with that?"

"No, besides it being incredibly offensive to Native Am- OWW!" Ethan growls, smacking his brother in the arm for hitting him again.

"Don't talk back to Deucalion!"

"Don't hit me!"

"He's like our dad dipshit!"

"He's not our dad..."

"So what?"

"Stop it!"

"You started it!"

"Did not!"

"Shut it!"

"You shut it!"

"Dad!"

"Stop calling him that!"

"Stop being a pussy!

"We're twins if I'm a pussy you're a pussy!

"No!  I'm not gay, that means we aren't the same!

"Not even a little bit?"

"No!"

"Then why do you have a picture of Enni-"

"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH ETHAN!"

"CHILDREN!  Children please," Deucalion snarls, rubbing at his temples.  "Stop your bickering and just, just go do as I ask."

"Yes Deucalion..." they sigh in unison, walking off.  Ethan can be heard muttering about cultural appropriation as they head outside.

"Oh what I do for the sake of perfect ambience and dramatic timing," Deucalion laments, falling into his recliner and dropping his head into his hands.


End file.
